Episode 30: Shane Matthis Remembers his Friend Scotty

Jenna Keeble 00:00

Unsilencing Stories is a podcast that reflects the voices of people in small towns and communities in Canada, who have lost loved ones to the toxic drug supply crisis. Since 2016. More than 30,000 people have died from fatal overdoses in Canada and that number continues to climb. The risk in smaller towns and communities is much higher than urban areas because of a lack of harm reduction services, and stigma against substance use and people who use drugs. This podcast is part of a community based participatory research project facilitated by Aaron Goodman, Ph.D., a faculty member at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Surrey, B.C., along with students Jenna Keeble and Ashley Pocrnich. 

The aim was to assist collaborators in publicly memorializing their loved ones and expressing grief as well as challenging silences imposed by dominant media organizations and stigma from society against substance use and people who use drugs. We hope these nuanced stories make it clear why the government needs to be doing more to prevent further deaths. Please note this podcast contains information about overdose death, grief and trauma that may be distressing to listen to. In this episode, you'll hear Colin Goddard interviewing Shane Mathis in Cranbrook, B.C. Shane memorializes his friend Scotty from Windermere, B.C., who died of liver disease related to alcoholism.

Colin 01:15

What is your first and last name?

Shane 01:18

Shane Mathis.

Colin 01:19

Where do you live?

Shane 01:21

Cranbrook, B.C., British Columbia, Canada.

Colin 01:26

Is there one person you'd like to speak about who died from an overdose?

Shane 01:31

Yes, one of my native friends. His name was Scotty. 

Colin 01:36

Where did they live? 

Shane 01:38

In Windermere.

Colin 01:40

Can you describe a moment or time that you shared together?

Shane 01:45

Yes, we were in Windermere when I was six, seven years old. We had the same babysitter, and we ate our KD together.

Colin 01:56

What do you remember most about it?

Shane 01:58

What I remember most about it was that we got along really well. We didn't judge each other; we were encouraging for each other. He was always happy to see me, happy to see others. It was a positive influence, even though he was struggling.

Colin 02:23

What was your relationship to them?

Shane 02:26

To them I was like a brother from another mother.

Colin 02:34

What was your first memory of them?

Shane 02:37

My first memory with him was the first time I met him. We traded jokes and we got along since then.

Colin 02:47

What's your best memory of them?

Shane 02:50

My best memory of them is always having a smile through thick and thin.

Colin 02:56

Your most vivid memory?

Shane 02:58

My most vivid memory was seeing my friend about a year before he died and when he still seemed healthy.

Colin 03:14

And what did they mean to you?

Shane 03:16

They were my friend. People that I could call friends and Scotty was my friend and was always encouraging. Yeah, they were like family to me.

Colin 03:28

What would you ask them if they were here today?

Shane 03:33

I’d asked him, “Hey, how's it going? You guys having a good day? Can I help in any way?”. All sorts of stuff.

Colin 03:41

So, what would you say you miss most about them?

Shane 03:44

What I miss most about him is his laughter. It was pretty contagious, like a bit of a belly laugh.

Colin 03:56

How do you think they would want to be remembered?

Shane 04:00

They would want to be remembered that they're human too. And they don't judge anybody else. They didn't want to be judged. They don't judge other people. If they can help it.

Colin 04:13

Was there anything you fought over or experienced some conflict around?

Shane 04:19

Yes, sometimes we didn't get along when we're both grumpy, misinformation, rumors of terrorism. Cranbrook's so small, hard to deal with someone 20,000 people because it only takes half an hour for a rumor to go across town. Never comes out what it should have been.

Colin 04:40

Right. What about the makes you smile?

Shane 04:45

That they cared about people even if they didn't know, they gave them a chance at their friendship, you know, vice versa. Yeah, they're always happy towards others. Gay people for attention in the friendship program.

Colin 05:00

Did you have any favorite jokes that they used to tell?

Shane 05:04

Yeah, we had some real-life stories to tell about fishing or camping or living in the bush or talking about survival. We all have down to earth things like any conflicts from everybody else. And, you know, how can we make the day better.

Colin 05:25

Do you have any stories that you want to share with them?

Shane 05:29

Yeah, there are, when I talk to people, they were staying honest, alright. They're just ready to go straight to the point. What's up? They cared about other people that gave it other people a chance to get better, to hear I liked it when we got to play together. And when I was six, seven years old, the funniest part was going down, going down the hill and Windermere and there was a clerk, down the corner, we just played all the time was like the sun sliding in the water. It was like a sun slide. It was, it was always fun, it was our favorite spot to go to go have fun for the day, staying out of trouble, other than getting dirty.

Colin 06:21

What were their hopes and dreams for the future?

Shane 06:24

Their hopes and dreams for the future. We're having other people stay clean and sober. Being able to help them even in their struggle, like not seeing as enabling thing, but seeing as give someone a beer because they're having a bad day, or whatever else.

Colin 06:43

So how are you different now than you were before you lost them?

Shane 06:47

I miss him, it makes me feel more depressed because I can remember how they look when they try not to judge me for not getting along with them. Never really worked out.

Colin 07:03

What is the image of them that has stayed with you?

Shane 07:06

Their smile when they were doing good.

Colin 07:10

Do you have any traditions that honor them?

Shane 07:13

Yeah, I still say good morning to people if they don't hang around, and I try to be nonjudgmental.

Colin 07:20

What has helped you the most in your grief?

Shane 07:23

Honoring them in a positive way and believing in a creator and I don't necessarily mean the Bible, but I think we have a church in us and carry on and only talk about the positive things usually in our lives.

Colin 07:39

So, what are the hardest times?

Shane 07:41

Hardest times when we are yelling at each other and didn't get along or felt like the enemies even though I meant well it just didn't come out that way. Because we brought anger with each other and me I always avoided negativity and walked the other way.

Colin 07:59

How would you describe them?

Shane 08:02

I'd describe them as charismatic, positive. If you had a smile, they'd have a smile for you. 

Colin 08:12

Did they have a nickname for you? 

Shane 08:15

Yeah, they called me, Shane Star. That was my nickname.

Shane 08:24

Is there a particular lesson you learned from?

Shane 08:26

Yes, that no matter what you're doing, you can always help somebody else. Even if you like a bag of hammers, you can still try right?

Colin 08:44

How long did you know them?

Shane 08:47

Since I was seven years old, and they've been gone for about, I guess you could say about 12 years.

Colin 08:55

What do you think they valued most?

Shane 08:58

They valued the most in life is being happy and helping other people with their struggles, whatever it was.

Colin 09:07

How would you describe their character?

Shane 09:10

I would say that they're bubbly funny. But if they're really mean, it was like, yeah, don't talk to them today because they might snap your head off by just by talking.

Colin 09:26

A time they were embarrassed.

Shane 09:29

Yes, sometimes they were. And that's why they didn't talk to as many people that sort of backed out when they felt embarrassed, and he even got less help that way.

Colin 09:42

Were they constantly late or early to events?

Shane 09:46

Both early and late. They still made it even though they were late. 

Colin 09:57

Do you have any funny story about time you spent together?

Shane 10:02

Yeah, one time there in the drugstore downtown Cranbrook and walked in me I always do funny things so often. "Where I haven't been all my life?!" and everyone in the store looks at you like your long-lost friends, and I embarrassed him and it was fun in there. Just keep talking like that or something like that. It's really funny.

Colin 10:29

Favourite stories about childhood that they love to tell?

Shane 10:33

Yeah, they love to talk about the good old days living off the land and doing some fishing. What their dreams and aspirations were.

Colin 10:42

Some big decisions they made that impacted their life.

Shane 10:47

Yeah, they discussed their alcoholism actually, they were trying not to be thirsty. Or they were struggling so much that it was like a plague for him.

Colin 11:00

If you knew that they could drop by and visit tomorrow. What would your ideal day spent like be?

Shane 11:06

Having a picnic on the beach, put on a couple of fish in the fire and riding around our bikes having fun buying the sunshine

Colin 11:18

What was their favorite color?

Shane 11:20

Their favorite color was sky blue.

Colin 11:27

What was their favorite flower?

Shane 11:30

Favourite flower was daffodils.

Colin 11:35

What type of music do they listen to?

Shane 11:38

They listen to mostly country music and they like danced a bit and listen to country music.

Colin 11:46

Was there a piece of clothing or something else that they wore that you would found distinguish them? Or separates them from others?

Shane 11:54

Yeah, their bandanas they used to wear back in the day. It was different colors than everyone else’s.

Colin 12:03

Did they have a signature saying?

Shane 12:05

They did, they this used to say, "What's up?", I always just say, "What's not up?".

Colin 12:15

How did they impact your life?

Shane 12:17

They impacted my life told me to stay strong no matter what going on around you. Gave me  positive affirmations and hope that we get to see your friends again.

Colin 12:31

So how will you honor their memory?

Shane 12:34

By doing a sweat lodge and talking about him and praying for their souls and different things.

Colin 12:47

What do you wish you had them before they died.

Shane 12:52

It's great to see you today, again. And I hope you're having a positive happy day, sunshine delight. I didn't get to see him for a long time before they died, so that was hard. I wasn't around to help him. I guess other problems were going on at the time. People tried to get him to quit but he didn't quit for anybody, they got to hide. I don't know if they got tired of quitting or not having the proper health and being because sometimes people have a hard time reaching out. I'd like to add that you know, I'm glad I got to do this study and have some positive input on this. Whatever the input looks like. 

By doing this is the start of honoring our friends. Yet there's only 20,000 people in Cranbrook, and it's hard because there's not as many resources on the weekends or anything at all. Interior health wise or mental health wise I just want to we get better so I can help others to turn a negative into positive and help people get through the grief that we went through, so they don't have to. A real friend picks his friend up and makes one little mistake you don't go, I'll just banish, and I never want to talk to you ever again blah blah blah, you know? You should be helping a friend up because he made a mistake you can go come on over and get through this you know; people shy away and tearaway. We need more help. There are so many people who care but they can only do so much. So, thank you for your time and listening to us.

Jenna Keeble 14:45

That brings us to the end of this episode of the Unsilencing Stories podcast. To listen to more interviews in the series, please go to www.unsilencingstories.com, and if you'd like to share your thoughts on the episode, message us at unsilencingstories@gmail.com. Thank you so much for listening and please share the project with other people you know.