Unsilencing Stories

Episode 26: Myles Toddington in Cranbrook, B.C. Remembers his Friend Steve

March 25, 2023 Unsilencing Stories
Unsilencing Stories
Episode 26: Myles Toddington in Cranbrook, B.C. Remembers his Friend Steve
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, you will hear Bowe McDonald speaking with  Myles Toddington in Cranbrook, B.C.  about Myle’s friend Steve who experienced a fatal opioid overdose. 

Jenna Keeble  00:00

Unsilencing Stories is a podcast that reflects the voices of people in small towns and communities in Canada, who have lost loved ones to the toxic drug supply crisis. Since 2016. More than 30,000 people have died from fatal overdoses in Canada and that number continues to climb. The risk in smaller towns and communities is much higher than urban areas because of a lack of harm reduction services, and stigma against substance use and people who use drugs. This podcast is part of a community based participatory research project facilitated by Aaron Goodman, Ph.D., a faculty member at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Surrey, B.C., along with students Jenna Keeble and Ashley Pocrnich. 

The aim was to assist collaborators in publicly memorializing their loved ones and expressing grief as well as challenging silences imposed by dominant media organizations and stigma from society against substance use and people who use drugs. We hope these nuanced stories make it clear why the government needs to be doing more to prevent further deaths. Please note this podcast contains information about overdose death, grief and trauma that may be distressing to listen to. In this episode, you'll hear about Bowe McDonald interviewing Myles Toddington in Cranbrook. B.C. Myles remembers his friend Steve who died from an overdose.

 

Myles 01:13

My name is Myles Toddington. I'm originally from Toronto. I've been in Cranbrook about eight months. Yeah, a long time ago, probably 30 years ago. Found my friend with a needle in his arm, hanging in the garage. He's dead.

 

Bowe 01:35

What do you remember most about it?

 

Myles 01:38

Just the look on his face.

 

Bowe 01:40

Yeah. See, I never had to share that. Which thank God because that would, it absolutely destroy me. What's your most vivid memory of your friend?

 

Myles 01:51

Oh, I can still remember his laugh.

 

Bowe 01:54

What has been the hardest thing about losing them to you, Myles?

 

Myles 02:01

I got a lot of baggage in the van.

 

Bowe 02:04

We all do, bro. We all do. What would you ask them If they were here today?

 

Myles 02:12

I probably would have told him not stick the needle in his arm. I've never used the needle, not after seeing that.

 

Bowe 02:20

How do you think they would want to be remembered most? 

 

Myles 02:23

That he was a good guy.

 

Bowe 02:25

Can you talk about the biggest obstacles they overcame in life? 

 

Myles 02:30

He actually graduated high school. 

 

Bowe 02:36

Was there anything you and your friends disagreed about, fought over, experienced some conflict around?

 

Myles 02:43

Not really. No. I used to tell them stay away from the needle all the time.

 

Bowe 02:51

What was your relationship like? 

 

Myles 02:53

He was my brother.

 

Bowe 02:55

 How are you different now than you were before you lost them?

 

Myles 03:00

I try to be the best person I can.

 

Bowe 03:02

Do you have any traditions that you honor for them? 

 

Myles 03:05

No, I don't. No, I pretty much blocked him out.

 

Bowe 03:09

What has helped you the most in your grief? 

 

Myles 03:13

Drugs. 

 

Bowe 03:16

How would you just describe the deceased?

 

Myles 03:19

He was a tough motherfucker.

 

Bowe 03:23

They usually are man. 

 

Myles 03:25

Just a waste. Yeah. I'm from a different generation than you are. Most of the people I know, died of overdose, AIDS, sharing needles, like I probably lost 25 people.

 

Bowe 03:48

What did you call them? Any nicknames or Terms of Endearment?

 

Myles 03:53

I used to tease him; he was a lot shorter than I was. I used to call him; I can't even talk about it.

 

Bowe 04:02

It's fair enough, Myles. Did he or she has a pet name for you?

 

Myles 04:08

Kilometers actually. Yeah. 

 

Bowe 04:15

Is there any particular a lesson that you learn from the deceased?

 

Myles 04:20

Well, other than to not use needles. Life's short. Don't take it for granted. Yeah.

 

Bowe 04:28

How long did you know the deceased?

 

Myles 04:33

17-18 years.

 

Bowe 04:35

What do you think they valued the most in life?

 

Myles 04:39

Family. Had a good family. 

 

Bowe 04:41

What words would you use to describe his or her character?

 

Myles 04:47

He's a leader

 

Bowe 04:49

How did you meet?

 

Myles 04:50

He was my next-door neighbour. 

 

Bowe 04:54

What particular time do you recall about them was especially joyful?

 

Myles 05:00

I'd say Christmas time. We like Christmas.

 

Bowe 05:04

What was the deceased laugh like?

 

Myles 05:07

Loud. 

 

Bowe 05:08

Was he or she chronically late or early?

 

Myles 05:12

No, he's he was always on time. He was going to play NHL hockey, man.

 

Bowe 05:20

Do you have any funny stories about the times you spent together?

 

Myles 05:25

Yeah, he was. He's kind of in love with my sister. She came home from school one day and found him hiding in her closet, he was watching her change. He went down the stairs in my house, ran to the next-door neighbor and jumped over the railing, my sister was chasing him. 

 

Bowe 05:52

Oh God. Were there any major changes to this deceased’s life that affected them in big ways?

 

Myles 05:59

He was supposed to be. He was going to play for the Toronto Marlies as a junior hockey player. He was going to be an NHL Star, man. Yeah, and his girlfriend, they had a fight and she hit him with a glass, threw a glass or something at him, he lost his eye. From then he couldn't play NHL anymore.

 

Bowe 06:22

If you knew they could drop by and visit tomorrow. What would be your day to spend together look like?

 

Myles 06:33

He's like lilies for some reason.

 

Bowe 06:39

The favourite flower? Did you just read that? 

 

Myles 06:41

Yeah. 

 

Bowe 06:42

What type of music did the deceased listen to you?

 

Myles 06:45

Well, we were listening to Zeppelin.

 

Bowe 06:49

What was a piece of clothing or something else the deceased wore that you found characteristic all of them?

 

Myles 06:57

He always wore his hockey, his favourite hockey team. He wore Toronto Maple Leaf’s; he loved his Maple Leaf community.

 

Bowe 07:06

Did he or she have a signature saying?

 

Myles 07:10

Yeah, he did. He used to say take care of your friends because they are few and far between.

 

Bowe 07:19

How did the deceased impact your life? 

 

Myles 07:23

Well, my buddy's name was Stevie. His parents, they divorced, and his father stayed in Toronto and his daughters, they moved to Calgary. I’d come up but I never got around. It was too painful  to see. I was in love with his little sister. 

 

Bowe 07:50

How will you honour the deceased’s memory?

 

Myles 07:54

It’s been so long, dude. I've just, I just forgot, I just blocked him out.

 

Bowe 08:01

The last question here Myles, and it's going to be a harder one for the both of us. But what would you wish that you said to them before they died? 

 

Myles 08:12

Love you, buddy. 

 

Bowe 08:13

That's really all I can think when I read that question a minute ago. It's I love you and I'll hold it down.

 

Jenna Keeble 08:21

That brings us to the end of this episode of the Unsilencing Stories podcast. To listen to more interviews in the series, please go to www.unsilencingstories.com, and if you'd like to share your thoughts on the episode, message us at unsilencingstories@gmail.com. Thank you so much for listening and please share the project with other people you know.