Episode 22: Jaime Berg in Cranbrook, B.C. Remembers her Ex-Partner Timothy

Jenna Keeble 00:00

Unsilencing Stories is a podcast that reflects the voices of people in small towns and communities in Canada, who have lost loved ones to the toxic drug supply crisis. Since 2016. More than 30,000 people have died from fatal overdoses in Canada and that number continues to climb. The risk in smaller towns and communities is much higher than urban areas because of a lack of harm reduction services, and stigma against substance use and people who use drugs. This podcast is part of a community based participatory research project facilitated by Aaron Goodman, Ph.D., a faculty member at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Surrey, B.C., along with students Jenna Keeble and Ashley Pocrnich.  

The aim was to assist collaborators in publicly memorializing their loved ones and expressing grief as well as challenging silences imposed by dominant media organizations and stigma from society against substance use and people who use drugs. We hope these nuanced stories make it clear why the government needs to be doing more to prevent further deaths. Please note this podcast contains information about overdose death, grief and trauma that may be distressing to listen to. In this episode, you'll hear Cory Hirt interviewing Jamie Berg in Cranbrook, B.C., about Jamie's ex-partner Timothy Atkinson, who died from an opioid overdose in Edmonton, Alberta.

Cory 01:15

Okay, so tell me your first name, Jamie.

Jamie 01:17

Jamie Lynn.

Cory 01:19

Where do you live, Jamie?

Jamie 01:21

I live right now in Cranbrook, British Columbia, Canada. Some people call it Death Valley.

Cory 01:27

Is there a person you'd like to speak about who died from an overdose?

Jamie 01:33

There are many people right now, I'll just bring up one, my oldest daughter's dad just passed away, this morning. They found him and he never used opiates. He’d been clean off like alcohol or any kind of drugs for a while and, but he's been fighting cancer, but he died of an overdose. I don't know how; he was against it. He was just talking to his daughter, my daughter yesterday, when they found him this morning. 

Cory 02:02

Can you tell me their first name? 

Jamie 02:04

Timothy Mark Atkinson. Everybody knows him as Tiny. He is a tattooist. 

Cory 02:10

Where did he live?

Jamie 02:10

He lives in Edmonton, Alberta. He had a tattoo shop out there called Tinies Tats. He was trained by Paul Jeffries. We were together for six years.

Cory 02:27

Describe the last moment that you guys shared together. What was the last time you seen him?

Jamie 02:31

Last time I seen him was. Olivia was, I think two, three years... Olivia's 13 now so that would be 11 years ago and we're 11 years apart, I think. 

Cory 02:43

Wow. What do you remember most about it, like about him?

Jamie 02:47

Super funny. Like super fun. The first time I met him, he was like in a big, long black trench. And like very gothic looking, and he's six -foot-three and had a big tattoo on the side of his head and full sleeve tattoos. 

Cory 03:01

What did it say on the side of his head?

Jamie 03:03

It is tribal. It's tribal work right here.

Cory 03:06

Does it go down his face on the side?

Jamie 03:09

Oh, just right here. I don't know. No, I haven't seen him for a long time. He made it in a magazine. He did a tattoo from here, all the way down in some guys back of his head all the way down to his tailbone. But yeah, he's just a funny guy.

Cory 03:31

Do you have any work from him?

Jamie 03:33

Yeah. 

Cory 03:34

No, I remember that one. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah.

Jamie 03:39

Yeah, he did that one. That was like 23 years ago. So Autumn was born in 2002. 

Cory 03:50

Tell me your best memory.

Jamie 03:52

The best memory was delivering Autumn, but we went on a road trip to go see his mom and like everybody. We took our little Chevy Short Van 1979 and like, we went up through this valley. I don't know if you know where that is, Kananaskis country. We went up to Bluerock, and there's a wicked waterfall and you could drink out of the water then.

Cory 04:26

Yeah, super nice. What is your most vivid memory of him?

Jamie 04:32

When he wiped out on the BMX. When we were riding it to Oyama to see my sister and he always tried to show off. So, he went to ride the BMX, so he wanted to ride it. He jacked the tire seat way up past the handlebars and he went to go do a hop in the seat, kicked him in the air right in front of the skate park. Then never seen anybody like he's a big guy and he just fell down so fast.

Cory 05:03

Everyone is laughing at him kind of thing.

Jamie 05:07

Then he fell the same day, he hit a pothole, he tried to hop over it, and it caught the tire. He went skating over there. Then we got to my sister's and her and I went hiking and we came back, and he's got road rash all over his face. I'm like, “What the hell happened to you now?” and his toe is split in half. He was chasing my nephew down the hallway in the trailer and there was a washer and dryer on either side of the bathroom. Then he hit his toe and split it in half, and he can't handle the sight of his own blood even though he's a tattooist.

Cory 05:40

That's a weird thing. 

Jamie 05:41

He fell and he passed out. He was pouring water in this toilet and then he opened the back door. No stairs, and he just timbered, like face planted, right. Oh, it took us three months to find this glass embedded in the ground. He had to grow out his piercing out, his lip ring.

Cory 06:05

Well, what did he mean to you? Which I can answer which is your baby daddy. Obviously. 

Jamie 06:10

He was my first love.

Cory 06:11

 First love really? Okay, so how old were you then?

Jamie 06:16

I was 21 when I started dating. 

Cory 06:19

No wonder you're riding a BMX. I was going to say you were probably driving too low. Yeah, well, the Chevy little van is that little hippie van wagon. 

Jamie 06:27

Yeah. There are no windows. It was spray foamed on the inside and swivel seat.  

Cory 06:40

 Yeah, everyone had those vans.

Jamie 06:42

You can hear nothing in it. Like, you can't even hear the stereo.

Cory 06:45

You got a giant sub box.

Jamie 06:50

Spray foam is really good. 

Cory 06:54

Are you comfortable? Can we talk about his death? How did he die?

Jamie 06:58

I just spoke with my daughter half an hour ago. She said she talked to him yesterday and she told him how she was going to be taking me into detox this week. And he is like, “Oh, that's good”, and he was really happy and wanted me to phone him. Then I guess they found him this morning. I guess he had overdosed, he did coke I think or meth and there was fentanyl in it.

Cory 07:22

There must have been because there's been a lot of death.

Jamie 07:25

I think 2014, they brought in so much W18 which is 1000 times stronger than fentanyl. It's brown. Brought it in, in those big drums. Like, you know, the big four. Get rid of it somehow, I think, and they put it through everything. That stuff like literally I watched people die and come back like 16 hours later.

Cory 07:48

What would you ask him if he were here today?

Jamie 07:51

Well, I just asked him to forgive me.

Cory 07:54

I'm sure he does. But like, tell him you love him? Obviously, I guess right? Same. You're all that stuff. But maybe we'll go see him or something. Maybe I'll come out there when you go to treatment. I'm going to come with you. I think that's a good reason. And I'll stick by yours. I don't want you out there. We're talking we're going to go for a bit to treatment. So, maybe we'll go do that and maybe we'll see his grave on the way back we'll visit my sister. My family and stuff. Stay there for a day or two. What do you miss about him the most which this kind of tough man Jamie I'm sorry, sweetie. But it just said all it'll happen. What do you miss about him the most of obviously kid's father. 

Jamie 08:29

He was just, if not more than me like he was just down earth like my mom's first like memory of him would be us pulling up in his big Thunderbird and that trunk was huge. That boat was huge. Like we beat streetcars with nitrous and we'd beat them and races that he pulled up with $800 booze in that trunk. And she's like, come to mama. My buddy Frenchie there that night too. That was my 21st birthday. I only remember doing a shot of Jack Daniels. 

Cory 09:06

How do you think he would want to be remembered by being good dad, good tattoo artist?

Jamie 09:13

Good tattoo artists, loving father like he was a romantic. You wouldn't think he was like with his bikes and his bike bracelet, or whatever. And the big, long black trench that he brought me on our first-year anniversary, a ring on a stick of candy. Every week, he would bring me a dozen roses or something. I mean, the most nicest restaurants like I looked like a queen when I was with him for five years. Like we had the nicest houses and just.

Cory 09:39

Can you talk about the biggest obstacles Jamie overcame in life? I'd probably think drinking and I think using?

Jamie 09:48

Yeah, probably.

Cory 09:51

I told her that he was very clean, and he was clean, and he wanted to reach out to her.

Jamie 09:55

Yeah, he actually started to really talk to Autumn, he left her life for seven years, when she was two, three years old. He left for seven years, first he left for a full month then he'd come back with a ring tattooed on him. 

Cory 10:10

Was there anything you and Tiny disagreed or fought about? Or fought over?

Jamie 10:15

He was a pathological liar.

Cory 10:17

And I'm sure over the kids you guys have argued over your little one, I'm sure.

Jamie 10:22

He told me he believed in the Lord, but he didn't like.

Cory 10:26

What about Tiny makes you smile? 

Jamie 10:29

He's a tattooer because when he sees his daughter, Autumn would only go to sleep on him like I'd have to wait till you get home 11'o clock at night and then like he'd hold her and boom, she'd be out and he she wouldn't, she'd only do it for him. He'd tried to protect me and stuff, but I ended up fighting everybody else.

Cory 10:50

What was your relationship like? Obviously good you guys had a relatively good relationship together.

Jamie 10:57

So yeah, somewhat but he we drifted apart when he moved outside of town, he got another girlfriend and she's kind of kept him away from us and she's just really jealous of Autumn and stuff like Autumn going out there.

Cory 11:09

Like trying to turn the kids on you kind of thing?

Jamie 11:14

She spent more time with her than she did with him.

Cory 11:18

What did Tiny look like?

Jamie 11:19

He was a redhead, had a long red goatee, and he never had a mustache, had a lip piercing like here to.

Cory 11:29

Like a punk rock Dan.

Jamie 11:34

Eyeball on his hand, right here. A spiderweb on his hand. When we got a tattoo shop out in Fernie here. He made $1,000 a day.

Cory 11:47

Did he have any favorite jokes he used to tell?

Jamie  1:50

Yeah.

Cory 11:52

Anything you can tell that's not too out of bounds here?

Jamie 11:55

He did this weird thing with his mouth, made him look like a bunny rabbit or something? We do acid and mushrooms quite a bit so when you do that it just tripped me, right. I don't know he always, he wore it after I had Autumn from the from the hospital. He wore my slip my like those shoes they give you, like the hats or whatever their shoes for the doctor. 

Cory 12:22

The Detox Reeboks we call those

Jamie 12:24

He'd put it on his head. So, he's like, thought he was just the funniest thing ever. And then I remember that other that song Whip it, whip it good. And he's just like, we're driving he's just pump it and he's like six foot three 260 pounds of tattoos everywhere. He's like whip it!

Cory 12:40

What were Tiny’s hopes and dreams for the future. Can you answer that?

Jamie 12:45

For his daughter to pick up his trade, to be a tattooist too.  Autumn that's her dream. She anyways, I know. She's a good artist. Yeah. And that he really wanted to be into in his daughter's life. His kid’s life, like he always sent child support to his ex and that's his daughter's name is Taylor. His oldest daughter. She lives on the island. I don't know where she lives now. But she's a few years older than Autumn.

Cory 13:08

What has helped you the most in your grief?

Jamie 13:11

Nothing yet. Talking about him on this, he really wanted me to get clean.

Cory 13:19

Did you have any pet names here? 

Jamie 13:20

Just James or beautiful.

Cory 13:26

Is there a particular lesson learned from the deceased? Did you learn anything?

Jamie 13:31

Life's too short.

Cory 13:32

Yes. No doubt. 

Jamie 13:34

Like if you had one moment, one opportunity, everything you ever wanted for one would you capture it.

Cory 13:43

What words would you describe his character?

Jamie 13:45

Well, he was outgoing, very funny sense of humor. He had a lot of friends very well respected. Well, like I just have a lot of respect as for as far as art and for his attitude, I guess.

Cory 14:00

Yeah. How would you describe his personality here?  How would you describe it?

Jamie 14:05

Very, very, very dry sense of humor. But like he showed me Ripping Friends like I don't know if you've ever seen them. The cartoons are Beavis and Butt-head. He loved the future cat. I don't know. They're just funny. Ripping Friends was one of his favorite shows like that's like Beavis and Butthead. Kind of think he's just like a kid. Like a big kid you know. He really knew how to tattoo, like I've never had mine touched up. No colour, still in them from 20 years ago. 

Cory 14:36

Okay, so how did you meet? 

Jamie 14:38

We met in the bar, Dirty Bird or this one is called. Yeah, his best friend wanted to, and it was a ladies night. His best friend wanted to beat me. So, he got him to come up to me. I thought well, he like shook my hand and was like, “I’m Tim”, and I turned around, I'm not sure about this guy so then I was like, “Well, he's an asshole”. He seemed like just a real grouchy kind of guy, but he wasn't, he's actually pretty, I fell in love with him right when he took me to the tattoo shop and started tattooing me like oh my gosh, like so scared to get tattooed. It was awesome.

Cory 15:20

What particular time do you recall Tiny was especially joyful?

Jamie 15:25

When we're eating food. He was a good cook, a super good cook. He taught me how to make portabella stuffed mushrooms and stuffed green peppers. He taught me a lot of stuff like sautéing mushrooms in brown sugar and butter and garlic for three hours on your steak like he’s a really good cook really good.

Cory 15:51

What time Tiny was embarrassed. A time when Tiny was embarrassed. So sorry, I'm bad.

Jamie 15:56

Oh actually, his buddy shot a seven-point buck elk and we had to pack the meat out. So, we hiked in like two kilometers or something in and each of us took turns guarding the carcass while they were packing the meat. We sat there with the gun and his friend the one who went to pack the meat sat there and started to saw each antler off and so I said, “I don't I wouldn't be doing that. Oh no”. Like he's a madman like you don't frickin do that. You usually saw that out. I bet he wanted to keep the head like it was a seven-point buck. This thing was huge.

Cory 16:38

Usually, you bury the skull usually they do, right?

Jamie 16:43

Mad, he was so mad. He made him come over and drill them back on.

Cory 16:55

That's hilarious. Did you have any more funny stories about him?

Jamie 16:59

We went camping out in Crowsnest Pass, the Crowsnest Pass River. It was the day after, like Monday, we went camping, it was May Long just after May long, so there's nobody there. And they sat up all night drinking lots, music playing. When I told them to not do that, at least around the vehicle, they killed the battery. So, there was a guy that came by on his quad, luckily, he and Byron took a ride into Blairmore, and they didn't see them all day, like this was morning time. They didn't get back until 10 o'clock at night.

Cory 17:34

If he could drop by and visit tomorrow, what would the ideal day spent together look like? What would it look like?

Jamie 17:41

Probably going on a trip or camping trip or something. Going out to my mom's, my family loved him.

Jenna Keeble 17:50

That brings us to the end of this episode of the Unsilencing Stories podcast. To listen to more interviews in the series, please go to www.unsilencingstories.com, and if you'd like to share your thoughts on the episode, message us at unsilencingstories@gmail.com. Thank you so much for listening and please share the project with other people you know.