In this episode you will hear Rihanna Lopez speaking with Stacey Andrew in Cranbrook B.C. about Stacey's ex-boyfriend who experienced a fatal overdose.
Jenna Keeble 00:00
Unsilencing Stories is a podcast that reflects the voices of people in small towns and communities in Canada, who have lost loved ones to the toxic drug supply crisis. Since 2016. More than 30,000 people have died from fatal overdoses in Canada and that number continues to climb. The risk in smaller towns and communities is much higher than urban areas because of a lack of harm reduction services, and stigma against substance use and people who use drugs. This podcast is part of a community based participatory research project facilitated by Aaron Goodman, Ph.D., a faculty member at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Surrey, B.C., along with students Jenna Keeble and Ashley Pocrnich.
The aim was to assist collaborators in publicly memorializing their loved ones and expressing grief as well as challenging silences imposed by dominant media organizations and stigma from society against substance use and people who use drugs. We hope these nuanced stories make it clear why the government needs to be doing more to prevent further deaths. Please note this podcast contains information about overdose death, grief and trauma that may be distressing to listen to. In this episode, you'll hear Rihanna Lopez speaking of Stacey Andrew in Cranbrook, B.C. Stacey memorializes her ex-boyfriend who experienced a fatal opioid overdose.
Rihanna 01:15
Tell me your first and last name.
Stacey 01:17
Stacey Andrew.
Rihanna 01:19
Where do you live?
Stacey 01:20
Cranbrook, B.C.
Rihanna 01:22
Is there one person who would like to speak about who died from an overdose?
Stacey 01:27
Yes, my ex-boyfriend.
Rihanna 01:29
Can you tell me their first and last name. Their age?
Stacey 01:35
He was about 54.
Rihanna 01:38
Nice. Where did they live?
Stacey 01:41
He was in Calgary.
Rihanna 01:44
Okay. Can you describe a moment or time that you shared together?
Stacey 01:49
We had many laughs, lots of walks. We had an animal, so we shared her. Yeah, he was a great guy until he got involved with drugs.
Rihanna 01:59
What do you remember most about him?
Stacey 02:02
His laugh.
Rihanna 02:03
Okay, cool. Okay, remembering a loved one. What was your relationship to him?
Stacey 02:11
Boyfriend girlfriend, we were common-law.
Rihanna 02:14
Tell me about him.
Stacey 02:15
He was always too busy running around town getting dope.
Rihanna 02:21
What is your first memory of him?
Stacey 02:23
The first time I met him. We were at a party, and he walked me home. Which made an impression on me.
Rihanna 02:33
What is your best memory of him?
Stacey 02:36
Mushroom picking.
Rihanna 02:38
What did he mean to you?
Stacey 02:42
Well, he was basically my fiancée. He had given me a diamond ring. Yeah, he meant a lot to me.
Rihanna 02:51
That's good. Are you comfortable? Can you talk about his death? Or how did he die?
Stacey 02:56
He died of an overdose. I'm assuming of crack or the needle.
Rihanna 03:04
What has been the hardest thing about losing him?
Stacey 03:07
We had been broken up for a long time. So, I really didn't miss him.
Rihanna 03:12
What would you ask him if you were here today?
Stacey 03:15
Why did you do that?
Rihanna 03:20
What do you miss most about him?
Stacey 03:22
His laughter and his hearing. He was a good listener.
Rihanna 03:26
How do you think he would want to be remembered?
Stacey 03:29
As a fun-loving character.
Rihanna 03:31
Are there obstacles he overcame in life?
Stacey 03:34
Yeah, he was 38-year-old still living with his mother. So, he overcame that and moved out.
Rihanna 03:45
Okay, was there anything you and he disagreed about, fought over, or experienced some conflict around?
Stacey 03:51
Nope.
Rihanna 03:53
That's good. What about him makes you smile?
Stacey 03:57
Memories.
Rihanna 03:59
What did he look like?
Stacey 04:02
He was taller than me. He had red, blond hair mustache. He lost a lot of weight when he got into drugs, so he was really skinny. And he didn't have any teeth and that was because drugs, right?
Rihanna 04:22
What were his hopes and dreams for the future?
Stacey 04:25
He just lived one day at a time. His hopes and dreams was to get a fix that day. So, he didn't look into the future,
Rihanna 04:36
How are you different now than you were before you lost him?
Stacey 04:39
Well, because it was an almost abusive situation. I have come a long way. I now work. I have friends and I'm not broke all the time.
Rihanna 04:53
What is the image of him that persists?
Stacey 04:57
His laughter
Rihanna 05:00
What has helped you the most in your grief?
Stacey 05:04
Because we were already split up when he did pass. I really didn't grieve.
Rihanna 05:12
What are the hardest times?
Stacey 05:15
Being broke all the time.
Rihanna 05:18
For sure. How would you describe the deceased?
Stacey 05:23
Fun, loving, caring. He loved his mom.
Rihanna 05:31
What is your favorite memory of the deceased?
Stacey 05:36
Taking long walks.
Rihanna 05:40
Is there a particular lesson learned from the deceased?
Stacey 05:43
Yes. Don't get involved with morphine.
Rihanna 05:49
How long did you know the deceased?
Stacey 05:52
We were together about eight years.
Rihanna 05:56
What do you think the deceased valued most in life? Okay, what is the particular time you recall the deceased was especially joyful?
Stacey 06:05
When it was high.
Rihanna 06:08
What is your earliest memory of this person?
Stacey 06:11
The first time we met, he was very polite, and he seemed very caring.
Rihanna 06:18
What was the deceased laugh like?
Stacey 06:21
Deep and it was a belly laugh.
Rihanna 06:26
Do you have any funny stories about times you spent together?
Stacey 06:29
No.
Rihanna 06:32
Do you remember any favorite stories about childhood that the deceased would tell?
Stacey 06:37
Yeah, he would talk about his father that had passed when he was fairly young.
Rihanna 06:43
Did the deceased ever discuss big decisions they made that impacted his life?
Stacey 06:48
No, he did his own thing.
Rihanna 06:52
Were there any major changes to the deceased’s life that affected them in big ways?
Stacey 06:59
Yeah, he became irresponsible and refused to work.
Rihanna 07:04
If you knew they could drop by and visit tomorrow, what would your ideal day spent together look like?
Stacey 07:09
I wouldn't give him a chance.
Rihanna 07:14
What was the deceased’s favorite color?
Stacey 07:18
Blue.
Rihanna 07:19
Nice. Favorite flower?
Stacey 07:22
I don't know that.
Rihanna 07:24
What type of music did the deceased listen to?
Stacey 07:27
Rock and roll.
Rihanna 07:28
Was there a piece of clothing or something else the deceased more that you found characteristic of them?
Stacey 07:33
He liked his Levi jeans.
Rihanna 07:38
How did the deceased impact your life?
Stacey 07:41
It changed my life because I became a drug addict, which made me broke all the time and always seeking drugs. So, I had no time for anything else, I didn't work.
Rihanna 07:54
How will you honor the deceased memory?
Stacey 07:57
Not talking bad about him.
Jenna Keeble 08:00
That brings us to the end of this episode of the Unsilencing Stories podcast. To listen to more interviews in the series, please go to www.unsilencingstories.com, and if you'd like to share your thoughts on the episode, message us at unsilencingstories@gmail.com. Thank you so much for listening and please share the project with other people you know.