Unsilencing Stories

Episode 11: Ramsey Whitfield in Prince George, B.C. Remembers His Friend Riley

March 18, 2023 Unsilencing Stories Episode 11
Unsilencing Stories
Episode 11: Ramsey Whitfield in Prince George, B.C. Remembers His Friend Riley
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, you’ll hear Loriana Cahoose speaking with Ramsey Whitfield in Prince George, B.C. about his friend Riley who experienced a fatal overdose at age 38.   

Jenna Keeble 00:00

Unsilencing Stories is a podcast that reflects the voices of people in small towns and communities in Canada, who have lost loved ones to the toxic drug supply crisis. Since 2016. More than 30,000 people have died from fatal overdoses in Canada and that number continues to climb. The risk in smaller towns and communities is much higher than urban areas because of a lack of harm reduction services, and stigma against substance use and people who use drugs. This podcast is part of a community based participatory research project facilitated by Aaron Goodman, Ph.D., a faculty member at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Surrey, B.C., along with students Jenna Keeble and Ashley Pocrnich.  

The aim was to assist collaborators in publicly memorializing their loved ones and expressing grief as well as challenging silences imposed by dominant media organizations and stigma from society against substance use and people who use drugs. We hope these nuanced stories make it clear why the government needs to be doing more to prevent further deaths. Please note, this podcast contains information about overdose death, grief and trauma that may be distressing to listen to. In this episode, you'll hear Loriana, who's speaking with Ramsey Whitfield in Prince George, B.C., about his friend Riley, who experienced a fatal overdose at age 38.

 

Ramsey 01:14

His name is Riley. He's about the same age I was, I am 44, he was about 38 or 39. I think he was. He lived in Nanaimo, just down on the island. 

 

Ramsey 01:26

Oh, sure, so many good times together. Basically, we went to treatment together in Vancouver at InnerVisions. He was the first person that welcomed me to the place when I first got there. I was ready to walk out, but he managed to keep me to stay there. 

 

Ramsey 01:43

No, I remember his smile that he used to have every time that we would laugh because everybody that has a lot of people that are in addiction have certain personalities and traits that they carry with them, and a certain arrogance that comes about them. We would always laugh every time they would try and tell their war stories and better the other people. 

 

Ramsey 02:05

He was my, he ended up being my roommate. And he ended up being the one that pretty much kept me from going back out, doing stupid things. 

 

Ramsey 02:15

My first memory of him was his big ass smile. And I walked through the door because I was so flipping’ skinny. He was giggling and chuckling at me because I was yeah, I was skinnier than a leaf. I've seen a lot of people pass in my time. And yeah, it doesn't get any easier. But it seems the sad part is it seems to not be getting much harder though, either. Seems to be just a normal thing to watch people pass away these days. And the saddest part is that, you know, there used to be funerals and celebration of life for people and stuff. Now it seems like there's just so many people passing away that it's, you barely even get to go to the funerals anymore because of COVID and stuff like that. 

 

Ramsey 02:58

Yeah, I mean, we had conflicts a few times because of being roommates and stuff like that. He was a sentimental person, and I was more of a cracker crackhead kind of person. So, we kind of had a lot of differences of opinions when it came to a lot of things. But for the most part, we would just talk it out. Up until the day he died, we used to be pretty much able to talk to each other and pretty much help guide and coach each other to stay sober. Until that day happened. So, we used to joke about all the new guys coming in because they all thought they would be the next guy to be sober and clean. But you could also tell after you've been around so many people in addiction for so long, you can also tell the people that are going to go back out right away. 

 

Ramsey 03:38

Things are a little bit different now because like Riley, once you get to a special bond built with somebody you know, after a while you kind of, you kind of gained a bit of confidence around them, right? Especially when it comes to beating your addiction and stuff, right. And then now when people like him pass away, and you realize that it's all up to you to do it by yourself, it makes it a lot harder, and it's a lot tougher. It really is it's the first thing I want to do is go and use myself, but I managed to tough through it somehow. So, it's very, very hard. It's very hard to meet people and then lose.

 

Ramsey 04:12

I would describe him as a fun, loving, family guy. He left behind a four-year-old, five-year-old, and a two-year-old. My best fondest memory of him is just sitting there laughing in the smoke pit, the treatment center just laughing at our pretty much our own stupidity and our own demise and all the time that we've wasted in our lives due to the drugs and partying and stuff like that. 

 

Ramsey 04:33

I call him Smiley Riley; he was always smiling. This guy was always happy. Why he went out and did what he did again. I just yeah, he called me Rammie Grammar. 

 

Ramsey 04:41

Yeah, there was a huge lesson to be learned. I mean, I've got an eight-year-old son myself and seeing him leave his children behind like that. I mean, these children, they've only got what we give them in life, right. You know, it was a huge wake up call for me to kind of think of all like what would happen if I died, and my son grew up without a father and didn't get to do a lot of the things that children should have the opportunity to do in life. That's what makes us sad about him dying, right? It's I mean, I've met a lot of people that have died. Car accidents, this, that, whatever. But nothing's been more tragic than when people leave their kids behind. 

 

Ramsey 05:13

We met each other, he actually picked me up from Abbotsford airport actually, when I flew, went down to Vancouver to go to treatment center. He was the one that picked me up and drove me to InnverVision. He got to pass me my 60 days certificate, individuals after 60 days give you a certificate, and they celebrate your achievements. And you got to stand up, bash me and rip me a new one in front of everybody. Yeah, he looked like he quite enjoyed himself. I thought it was pretty funny myself too. So, but it's actually a really good opportunity to have someone close to you that lets you know that you have a new friend, right? 

 

Ramsey 05:49

No, I don't actually, never knew him in his earlier years. I wish I did. I wish I would have known him my whole life. Like the case of most people, it's just not enough time with people, right. Me and him were actually going to go get jobs together. We were going to start up a delivery company where we deliver heavy equipment because I've got tons of training and driving all the equipment. And he had the class one license. So, we were going to start up a delivery company down in Nanaimo and I was going to move my kid down there. He ended up passing away four days before I left treatment. 

 

Ramsey 06:20

So, I would spend the day kicking the crap out of him for what he did. I really would. We just ended up walking. We went down. We were going to go to Value Village and get our kids a couple things from, you know, from Value Village to send to our kids. And he ended up sitting beside the 7-Eleven, while I went inside, and some guy ended up selling him fentanyl and he snuck it back to his room. And that's when he later that night, we woke up and I woke up to him ODing, on the floor, right? And there's nothing I could do. There's no Narcan kits around. There's nothing. He just went out in a very cowardly way I thought. I spent the day keeping the crap out of them and slapping around and trying to straighten him out a bit. 

 

Ramsey 06:58

His favorite color was blue. He put blue on everything. Our bedroom was every picture had to have blue in it. Like everything. His pajamas were blue, like everything was blue about this guy. 

 

Well, this is where me and him different a lot. I listened to a lot of heavy metal, and some rap and stuff like hip-hop, and he was 100% country. I don't exactly do country music too well. It's a little too sappy for my liking, he used to always say "Choppy, chop, chop, hurry up, get it done". He wasn’t, he wasn't a very patient fellow. 

 

Ramsey 07:29

He had a huge impact on my life. A lot of the times when you go to a treatment center, you don't bond with someone right away, you tend to a lot of people tend to end up leaving, and I had an immediate bond with him, he made me feel very welcome. Because of him, I actually ended up staying and staying clean and sober to this day. 

 

The best way I can honor him is just not to go out and get high again, just to learn from his mistakes. You know, you see how a lot of the times when you're sitting across from somebody and treatment and stuff like that you guys really get to the bottom of a lot of issues. And when you see that you're guilty you feel because of when you start talking about your kids and the impact that you've done to your kids. It really, really hits home. It really does. There's something about it that it's like you can finally put your own bullshit aside and you start to worry and consider the fact that you're actually doing damage to other people. And that alone sometimes can actually keep people clean and sober. And it works. 

 

Ramsey 08:18

Come in the store and don't sit outside the store, by far. I wish I wouldn't have left him outside. I knew he seemed a little off that day. But I didn't. I mean, I could just, no way you could see it coming, but I wish I heard what the guy outside the store said to him because I don't do fentanyl at all. I would have told those guys to take a hike. My biggest fear nowadays is that my kid is going to go and try drugs for the first time and end up ODing or something like that. The drugs are so synthetic and are not what they used to be. They've always had the power to do it. They just keep it that way because the system's corrupt, right?

 

Jenna Keeble 08:47

That brings us to the end of this episode of the Unsilencing Stories podcast. To listen to more interviews in the series, please go to www.unsilencingstories.com, and if you'd like to share your thoughts on the episode, message us at unsilencingstories@gmail.com. Thank you so much for listening and please share the project with other people you know.